I just figured out one of the problems I have with social interactions. I’m opinionated. I know that. But the problem is that my husband enjoys it. Our life is a sitcom. I express my opinions outrageously, and he laughs about it.
We were watching House Hunters on HGTV just now, and I saw a kitchen with ugly green walls. I grimaced and loudly said, “Ohhhh…that’s terrible.” You would’ve thought I saw someone puking. But it was just ugly paint colour on a kitchen wall. I’ve grown accustomed to overly dramatizing and to having my husband laugh his heart out.
When I do that in front of others, however, they seem bewildered, as in they can’t believe I can express myself so freely.
The problem is that there is only one of me. I can’t be one person at home and another one with strangers. It just isn’t possible. We are creatures of habit. Our responses are automatic. Had I married a prim and proper guy, I would be used to behaving, but that isn’t the case.
My sister, however, married a prim and proper guy. She has trained herself to speak quietly and to have fine manners (or so she thinks). I think she reserves all her nastiness for me, especially when she is trying to train me to be like her husband. One of these days she’ll get tired of my nasty retorts and will give up—I can only hope.
Anyway, there is my dilemma. It kind of sucks.
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7 comments:
i think it's terrific you feel so free to be yourself. that you don't feel pent up or restrained. because let me tell you, that is a horrrrrible feeling. to have rage inside and things you want to say and to feel like you can't open your mouth.
but not to negate or invalidate how tough this is for you too. i do think it is a strength of yours and a real pity that more people don't seem to appreciate it like your husband does.
i think it's great.
that is funny about the green paint. i do have moments where i feel no restraint whatsoever and wind up putting my foot in my mouth and this reminded me of a time i did that. i was visiting a friend and she was halfway through painting her living room. so the walls were half olive green and the other half a yellowy cream. and i said, well it's a good thing you're painting that yellowy color, that green is just awful! but the green was the fresh coat!! :D ha! luckily it was a good friend and she just laughed at my faux pas. i'm so happy you have a husband who offers you such deep acceptance and comfort to be yourself.
hopefully the other people in your life will appreciate it too someday. i certainly do :)
here's a button for you :)
http://www.northernsun.com/n/s/0780.html?mv_pc=gbase
LOL! That story about the paint is good enough for a sitcom. Hilarious!
Even funnier is that the wall I saw on HGTV was olive green. I just can't believe it.
Last night, when I said that, the fact that the home shopper liked it as much as I disliked it made my line even funnier.
I don't know that I will ever find real people in real life*. As you know, and I've learn in the Jane Austen novels, being subdued is part of the English culture. So asking them to like my flamboyantness is as wrong as asking me to like their tameness.
I just don't know where to draw the compromising line.
"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
So true. I guess I'll make history by leaving my blogs behind when I die :)
* I have a couple of friends who laugh as heartily as my husband, so I'm not doing too bad. Recently, I've been feeling the love from you, my blog friends, and it helps very much. Considering that I'm much more outrageous and real on line that in real life, and that you guys still seem to like me. So thanks :)
it really was olive green, isn't that funny :) and i like that color so i'm surprised i thought it was so ugly on the wall.
well, perhaps this comfort you're finding in the blogworld is just a stepping stone and you will find more people along the way in "real" life as well as here. though i think this is all real too. i'm so glad you've found the support and friendship you have found here.
i appreciate you too :)
Really? Well-behaved women seldome make history? How comforting! Totally!
I'm good at opening my big mouth sometimes, and get adminished big-time for it by my more discreet friends. But you know what? Being outspoken and dramatic gets some points across to some dense people, and all the discreetness and politeness in the world couldn't accomplish that! Good for you!
sorry for all the typos!
Thanks, Starry.
I've started to notice that many of my detractors are actually envious of my ability to express myself.
I think that instead of trying to repress myself, I should stop feeling guilty for being myself (Easier, much easier said than done).
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