A Good Day

Not wishing to wait until next week, I saw a doctor today. He said that I’m peri-menopausal and that I am not pregnant. Excellent news! Now, I move on.

I also talked to him about my joint pain, and he diagnosed me with rotator cuff tendonitis. Maybe I can use that as a disability. Keep that in mind when you read further down, and that I saw the doctor after having gone to the government agency.

He wants me take some medication for a couple of weeks and to see a physical therapist. He said swimming would be good, too.

And yes, I saw an employment counselor, too. I had called that agency even though they work with people with disabilities, because they seemed to have a program for “normal” folks. But when I got there, the caseworker said that she was indeed a caseworker, but for people with disabilities.

“OK,” I said, “I’ll go home to find another agency.”

“Why would you do that,” she said, “if I can do that here, with you?”

“Because I can do it myself, online.”

Then she said, “Or I can help you, do you have any chronic pain or another issue that we can use as a disability to try to get you funding for training?”

Then she got my attention.

I said that, yes, I had chronic pain issues but that I hadn’t been diagnosed by a doctor. “But I do have a psychological disability,” I said.

Then I explained that I had trouble dealing with people and handling stress, due to my abusive upbringing, which combined with the culture, has made my working life in this country miserable.

She said, “OK, you have PTSD. I’ll write that on the papers, and I can work with you.”

“Maybe there is a god,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to have a disability sticker for my car.”

“Most of the disabilities we deal with, here, are invisible,” she said.

But why is this good news to me? Because she will work with me keeping my most difficult shortcomings in mind. She will be there every step of the way helping me figure out what type of job I can get that fits the person I am. Other employment programs assume that, if you have skills, you should be able to find a job and live happily ever after. Not so with me. There is a reason I haven’t wanted to work in several years.

Yes, I do have a handicap. And somehow I landed at a government-funded agency that helps people with handicaps like mine. It’s pleasantly bizarre, really.

Incredibly enough, seeing my issues as a handicap has given me more hope than ever. Maybe because I know that there is much better funding and opportunities for persons with disabilities, while at the same time, fewer people are looking for that sort of help, so counselors have more time and resources for the likes of me, who need hand holding. And some people wonder why I love this country so much!

Of course, if after looking for work for a while we conclude that I need a little re-training, we will have to get doctors and psychologists signatures, to prove that I have issues. It shouldn’t be hard to find 50 people or so to agree that I do.

Yes, it was a good day.

Coming Up: A Review of Easy Virtue, the movie

I started writing that post last week and never went past the first paragraph. We've been working so hard in the backyard: fixing a retaining wall, repairing two fences (one per neighbour), and making a patio (after ripping off the deck).

It took sooo long. We've been at it since May. Good thing we had a vacation in between, otherwise we would be dead.

This week I have to clean the house spotless. Brother-in-law getting married on Saturday. On Thursday we have rehearsal dinner. On Friday we are going out for dinner with all the out-of-towners. On Saturday, the wedding--all day affair. On Sunday, I am having everybody over for a BBQ lunch--25 people give or take a couple.

It sounds busy, I know, but it actually is more that that. It's excruciating, considering that I have to hang out with my mother-in-law and that I'm feeling sick these days.

This past Saturday, I had what I think was my first ever gallbladder pain attack. I almost went to the ER. The pain is beyond belief. I felt as if something was being ripped from below my rib cage. But I didn't go to the hospital. Honestly, I have no time to be sick right now.

Instead I drank fennel & cumin tea (those Indian spices come handy sometimes), and it helped so much. On Sunday I drank dandelion-root tea all day and had only liquids. The pain came back at times on Sunday.

Today, Monday, I drank fresh vegetable juice, had a few grapes, and had my award-winning vegetable soup (with lots of fennel). My diet is so skimpy that I'm not sure if I am hungry or just have heartburn.

Other than heartburn, I am bloated, as if something is swollen inside, feel week and a bit dizzy, want to throw up, keep burping, and have menstrual-period-like pain. It isn't good, I know.

At least I've managed to keep pain at bay by not eating anything fried. That's what Volly said to do on my other blog.

Interestingly enough, keeping busy helps me forget about the pain. I wouldn't want to lie in bed all day, then I would really feel sick.

Anyway, I'll see the doctor on Wednesday. Already made the appointment. Told Husband that if doctor wants me to go to the hospital, I will go and the wedding can do without me.

Please don't tell me you'll pray for me. Try something more creative, OK?

Oh my gosh, talk about bitching! I don't mean to scare you but mid-aging sucks.