Last night I had a dream-filled night. I am planning on writing my nightly dreams to see if I can figure out what my brain is up to these days.
Last night, I was looking out the kitchen window to the backyard, when I saw a completely black eagle munching on some plant. I called my husband and calmly said to him. "Look there is an eagle in the backyard."
Later I dreamed that I was working at my first job in Canada, again. I left that job after a fight with my boss. It was ugly. In the dream, I went back to work for him. He told me to go to HR, where I was told that back then I'd been underpaid because a horrible mistake had been made in recording the category of my position. They made me sign something.
I came to work the next day, and my boss wasn't there. Some lady gave me a bunch of forms to complete, and I remember thinking, "They keep asking me to fill out forms, but nobody is telling me that they will pay me the money I'm owed. Maybe I shouldn't sign anything and find a lawyer."
Then, as part of my job, I went to some school's event, like a job fair, and I ended up talking to some lady about data communications.
Maybe my brain is trying to purge the painful experience. Who knows?
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Trying to survive my mid-life crisis, like most women over 40. Reaching middle-age is no piece of cake. But we can still have a "piece of cake" together.
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5 comments:
ooh goody i love dreams! what do you think the black eagle represents? my favorite dream interpretation website is:
http://www.thecuriousdreamer.com
try going there and entering "black eagle backyard" and read the results. very interesting!
and your other dream sounds like you might be dealing with your feelings about work. since you're in the process of thinking about working again. maybe you're wanting to make sure you don't end up in a bad position where you don't feel appreciated or adequately compensated for your abilities. what do you think?
My dreams are so morbid. You are right, the office dream seems related to my project of going back to the workforce. What's interesting in that it felt good to be out there. It didn't feel oppressive as it did before.
But, now, thinking of the dream feels awful. Maybe I just have an unreasonable fear that people will hurt me again.
As for the eagle, the website is great. It makes you think, anyway. By providing ideas, it makes you really start thinking about what it is.
What's strange is that I am afraid of animals--terrified. And in the dream, I wasn't afraid of the Eagle, because I was protected by my house, of course. From my house, I can experience anything. It's my sanctuary.
But, black means bad news to me. It means death. So, thinking of that eagle gives me the creeps.
From what the website say, I could say that I am the eagle, bold and strong, ready to soar again.
Or maybe it's just a description of who I'm. An eagle who is currently "parked," not interested in soaring.
after reading the curious dreamer, i was thinking about the black eagle as your feelings about authority (religion, workplace authorties, etc). it's in the backyard, which might reflect your feelings about it are in part shaped by your personal experiences in your past. or that this is a private matter for you. but that what was once something dark, scary and depressing for you, is now eating plants, and nurturing itself and maybe growing into something more healthy for you. just my instinctual response.
Ha, ha,.... my black eagle is out in the open. That makes a whole lot of sense. It's quite possible. But there is still so much pain inside me. So much fear. I don't know that I can ever fly again. I just don't feel like it.
So maybe it is just depression. Pure old fashion depression rearing its ugly head.
no matter what it is, it is eating plants which has got to be a good, healing sign, right? :) and the fact that you weren't afraid of it?
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