Health Issues

I often wonder if I am just a sick bitch or if I am a hypochondriac. But, honest, every time I ask myself the question, I do a body inventory and more than one spot hurts.

Recently, watching the musical Menopause, a comedy, I started to laugh wildly when one of the actors said, "I never wake up at night. Never. How can I? if I'm not asleep" (or something like that).

After a few seconds, my laughter turned to tears, when I realized that it had been years since I slept through the night. Night sweats, frequent urination, backaches, headaches, or even anxiety keep me awake at night. To get about six hours of sleep, I need to be in bed for about 10 hours. Good thing my husband can sleep through earthquakes, otherwise he would've divorced me already.

But my most serious problem is the constant back/neck ache. My neck hurts all the time, and about once a week, it turns into a nasty headache. Why my muscles go tense, I don't know. The doctor said it was my computer posture, and the physiotherapist said I needed to exercise. She figures that because I'm overweight, I never exercise. When I explained that exercise gives me a backache, she patronizingly smiled.

My lower back hurts all the time, too. I have a congenital injury there, which I believe is aggravated by two orange-size fibroids I have in my uterus. Basically, my tail bone always hurts to the touch. When really bad, I limp.

I also have a chronic sinus infection. So, basically, my nose is always swollen, and it occasionally hurts. Nasty discharge is part of the deal, so I have to clean the area as part of my routine, as I do my teeth.

My teeth, by the way, are also an issue. They're quite separated and follow a crooked line, so food gets stuck all the time and causes me pain. I have to floss constantly or else ... In addition I have a molar that's breaking but the dentist has decided to leave it for now. The net result is that I cannot bite with my right side. Must chew all my food with the left side.

I also have yeast problems which can cause me rashes and itches everywhere, if I eat too much flour and sugar. There is a problem with my bowels, too. Constant diarreah which I've narrowed down to liver problems, because it becomes worse when I eat fatty foods. I also suffer of constant bladder and kidney issues. Last year, I passed a stone. But more often than not, I ain't screaming of pain, so doctors don't take me seriously. I'm given Bactrin and sent home.

However, when they did my physical last year, my health was perfect according to the physician. The fibroids were my only problem. Yeah, right.

I don't go to the doctor because none of my symptoms individually add up to a serious illness. I always say that if you're not bleeding, feverish, or screaming in pain, doctors send you home to drink apple juice. They never take me seriously, thinking I am a hypochondriac making everything up, but I'm not. I swear.

Some symptoms I can control with diet. But it is so hard to stay on the diet. If I abstain from meat, milk, and flours of any kind, I do mostly OK. At least my sinuses get better and the diarreah recedes. But try living that way.

Well, dairy products I can't have. I'm lactose intolerant. But if I dare, even if I take Lactaid, the sinus situation gets so bad that I become dizzy for days. Right now, I am feeling literally unbalanced. After having lain down for a while, I feel as if I am falling over--all because I indulged in all kinds of foods during our vacation.

So, in theory, I should never eat beef, lamb, pork, dairy products, flour, fried foods, or sugar. Sometimes I think that if have to live that way, then I'd rather die.

I try, however. I make my own desserts from high fibber ingredients and natural sugar replacements, cook without cheese or milk, and eliminate fats from my diet as much as possible.

I thought writing it all down would be therapeutic. Let's see if it works.