I just watched on TLC the murder of a sister by a sister. For some reason, I feel that I need to write about this.
My sister, the new mom, behaves like a total bitch toward me. She is just plain rude, defensive, offensive, and always trying to outsmart me and out-know me on all arenas of life. Her life mission statement should be, “I want to prove Unrepentant that I am better than her.”
I, on the other hand, have no problem admitting that she is a person with many virtues. If she knows something, good for her is what I say.
I know why she behaves that way. She is just sorely insecure. Her self-esteem is microscopical. However, her behaviour toward me is unforgivable and I am not going to take it. I officially give her the finger right here right now. We are going back to business as usual. If she needs me, she’ll call. I don’t want her around me. If, like she claims, she has lots of friends, knows everything, and everyone likes her, then she will never need me and that will be perfectly fine by me.
The murder I watched on Extreme Forensics portrays a situation similar to ours. One of the sisters was a good person, taking care of her ailing mom until the day she died—inheriting all of her mother’s assets, even though there were ten other children in the picture. Though it wasn’t mentioned on the show, it is perfectly possible that the “bad” sister had been mistreated by the mother and the “good” had been preferred. Or like in my case, for some reason the “bad” sister just envied the other for one reason or another.
In the end, the story goes, the “bad” sister ended up living off the good one, receiving money and a rent-free home to live. When the good one got tired of being swindled and refused to continue providing for her slacker sister, she was murdered, placed in a freezer, and a fire was started to try to destroy evidence.
My youngest sister claims to have had a terrible life but, who didn’t in my family? However, being the youngest she has a kind of psychopathic sense of entitlement, as if the world owed her something. She is narcissistic in that she doesn’t have to deserve something for her to desire it and demand it.
Therefore, she envies me for having gone to university, gotten good grades, and having succeeded in my career and, in general, for being who I am.
She makes me pay harshly for being who I am, and that I won’t take. The woman on the show got literally murdered. My sister kills me slowly with her words, the expressions of her face, her attitude, and actions, like being best friends with all my enemies, such as my mother-in-law.
Fuck her, is what I say.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
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3 comments:
good for you. i'm all for taking care of ourselves, regardless of what other people think, regardless if we're talking about family or strangers on the street. to me, we need to be treated well. family is no excuse to be treated like crap, like that somehow makes it ok.
speaking from experience, insecurity is a beast! it can make you completely self-centered and when you are sure you're just being pitiful and making all the sense in the world, you have lost complete perspective on the effect you're having on other people.
your sister needs to take care of herself. and you yourself. again good for you for doing so. :)
Ah, thank you for your support mountainmama. Yes, I'd better leave her alone to figure out her stuff.
Her husband is a very nice guy, but he is a perfectionist and a controller. For example, he decides when she should feed the baby.
I think it's perfectly possible that having him home 24x7 for more that 2 weeks is driving her nuts. But again, I'd better leave her alone.
yes you can't fix or save her and it would make you crazy anyway if you tried. she's a grown up.
i think the sooner we all start treating each other like adults who are capable of taking care of ourselves, the more quickly we will rise to the challenge and start doing so.
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