Have you ever been depressed for no reason at all?
I guess it happens when women have PMS. I'm going to assume that women in menopause still get a period of sorts, even if we don't get actual menses. I have the blues and no period on sight. It really sucks. I think the issues are periodical because I also have breast pain and uterine stuff, a little stronger than usual. This menopause crap feels like permanent PMS--ninety whole days of it. I wonder if the other 275 days will also be like this.
I think this is the first time ever that I feel the weight of depression, and I can tell it really isn't psychological at all. It seems to be mostly a physical symptom over which I have no power.
I have no feelings of doom or anything like that. I am not having strong negative feelings about anyone in particular. I am in need of nothing. The sun is shinning out there.
But I don't want to do anything. All I want is to lie in bed with the blinds down and forget that I exist. Basically, it feels like laziness, a lack of desire to do anything. I don't want to think of my impending job search, or of his job search, or of having to go back to the workforce, or of what to make for supper, or of the messy house, or anything. I want to do nothing.
I swear on days like this I wish I had anti-depressants around. But, if I'm still feeling like this by Monday, I am hitting the doctor's office. Enough is enough.
For now, I will force myself to clean the house a little. Seeing the house looking better may be helpful.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Trying to survive my mid-life crisis, like most women over 40. Reaching middle-age is no piece of cake. But we can still have a "piece of cake" together.
About Me
- Unrepentant
- A mid-age woman seeking to rekindle my career while dealing with aches and pains.
Labels
- anger (3)
- anxiety (5)
- appearances (1)
- back pain (1)
- candida (1)
- career (9)
- cold feet (1)
- control (1)
- crisis (2)
- denial (1)
- depression (5)
- dreams (3)
- employment (6)
- family (7)
- fears (4)
- guilt (1)
- hateful christians (1)
- health (5)
- hysterectomy (1)
- illness (2)
- menopause (3)
- perfectionism (3)
- personal growth (6)
- Positive thought (6)
- relationships (12)
- relatives (2)
- self-doubts (2)
- tagged (1)
Fellow Journers
background
4 comments:
Hi,
I was watching Karate Kid 2, the Japanese man in it says to repeat:
" The sun is warm and the grass is green".. and remember everything will get OK.
Positive,
Nice, very nice thing to say to me right now. Thanks!
hi unrepentant~ i'm struggling with hormonal moods right now myself, so i can sympathize. i can imagine though that not having a period coming, and the fact that this mood might continue on would make me want to go to the doctor too to see if they could help.
as for today, i say, be gentle with yourself. maybe do something nurturing to pamper yourself. take a nice bath, read a fun book. take it easy :)
i think i'll try to take my own advice. i'm needing some gentle acceptance today, and maybe some ice cream to go along with it~
Katie,
You're not pregnant, are you?
Two things work for me: (1) Going for a walk, and (2) Going to the spa.
There are countless walking trails within easy driving distance from our house, so we did one beautiful trail yesterday and another one today.
I like that because I find nature terribly encouraging. And because, as the great philosopher in Legally Blond said, "Exercising produces endorphins and endorphins make people happy."
We have a gym membership, and the gym has a sauna, a steam room, and a pool. Going there makes me happy. So, as long as I can get myself out the door, I know I'll be fine.
Yesterday, after planning my suicide, I told my husband that I needed to go for a walk, and after that I was OK again. You go figure!
Moods are so transitory, that I know that by the time you read this you'll be fine. I wish you well anyway.
Post a Comment