Love Happens

My husband is away this weekend. He went to visit relatives in Alberta for four days. So, yes, I’m alone again. Completely alone.

His absence coincided with another bout of profound depression, brought about by my recent streak of illness. I feel like I want to be out there and do stuff, but I can’t. And I go back to thinking that, perhaps, I am being childish and weak and should tough it out like everyone else.

Depressed and all, on Saturday, I went out on my weekly grocery-shopping trip. I started with the discount organic store, where I buy organic yogurt and soymilk for a dollar or two.

Then I bought my veggies and fruits at my favourite Chinese store, where I can buy exotic tropical fruits and vegetables. Then I went to a waterfront village, to buy fish from the fisher people (I eat fish). I bought a large supply, brought it home, cut it into one-serving pieces, and put it in the freezer. I should have enough fish for many meals, while my husband eats fish, pork, or beef.

That snapped me out of the depression a bit. Doing stuff is usually better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself, especially on a wonderful sunny Fall day.

This evening, Sunday night, I went for sushi and then to the movies. The movie was Love Happens. I expected to watch a romantic chick flick, but it was a tale about a motivational speaker helping people who have undergone great loses.

It was very good for my little heart. I heard phrases and ideas that are healing for a depressive chick like me. I’m truly glad I went. It wasn’t a typical look-good, shallow Hollywood film. It was deep, and I enjoyed it. That the actor was so easy on the eyes didn’t hurt one bit.

I’m still sad. There is a sadness to me that I haven’t been able to shake off for years. But perhaps that’s me, and I need to learn to live with that sad person, since there isn’t very much I can do about it.

I’m glad I took myself out. I should do it more often.

Oh, by the way, the Japanese food was terrible. I was going to go for Indian but I missed it by mistake and didn't want to drive back in the rain.