My husband lost his job. We weren’t expecting that at all. And now, we move on.
I just found out about 15 minutes ago, and every second my mood changes. I haven’t been able to cry yet, but I wish I could.
One second I’m angry at the people who mislead us to believe he would have the job, the next one I’m happy that we finally know. He worked there for five years and we never knew from one year to the next.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but one thing is for sure, my idle days are over. I’m going to have to get out there and find a job. The house sale, of course, is postponed until after he finds a job, as if worse comes to worse, we’ll have to relocate. I think we should keep doing what we were doing house-cleaning wise, and be ready for whatever.
Our savings are OK and we will be fine for a while, a long while. My husband’s communication’s skills are so poor that it is difficult for him to find work. Let’s hope that mine are better and that at least I will find a job.
I can feel the lump moving up to my throat now, so I may be able to shed a few tears. It wouldn’t hurt me at all.
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2 comments:
oh gosh, i'm so sorry. i just read your previous post and now this one. i know you were in a state of wondering before if he would always have his job, but this seems like it was a shock. i hope that whatever happens, you're both happy with where you end up, and that you find jobs you love doing, if you both end up working.
i don't know what else to say except that i think it's great that you are letting yourself feel your reaction. and i think it's great that you are as grounded and practical and aware of your abilities as you are.
Katie,
Thanks. You seem to know well where I'm at.
My tendency is to ignore the pain and go straight into action. But that isn't good, as you know.
I'm making every effort to experience the pain, and the pain doesn't seem to be coming too strong. But I want to give the pain permission to be there.
The rationalizations are poring in: "It's all for the best," "
That job wasn't good enough for him, any way," "Good riddance," "I needed I kick in the stomach like this one to get me moving," etc.
It seems like some part of me expected this, or at least, the lengthy process prepared me for something like this. I don't seem to be too crushed.
Let's see how I feel tomorrow.
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