Yesterday, I was writing affirmations when I came to the issue of respect. So I wrote, “I respect all people.”
Then I realized that I do respect some people, but I do have issues in that area. Then I thought I should be more specific and started to write a list of all the folks I have trouble respecting.
I wrote,
I respect the annoying, the hurtful, the racist, the misogynist, the rude, the conversation hogger, the know-it-all, the backstabber, the gossiper, the hypocrite, the show-off, the snob, the religious-fanatic, the bully, the controlling, the insistent, the naïve, the ignorant, the disrespectful, the telemarketer, the patronizing, the opinionated, the co-dependent …
So, I wrote the list, and then I realized a couple of things: (1) I have a problem respecting most people, and (2) I have a problem respecting myself, since I often display some of those behaviours, too. No wonder I have so much trouble liking myself. The problem with being judgmental is that as we judge others we judge ourselves.
I don’t know what’s first, if respect for self or respect for others, but I do have my work cut out for me.
Another issue I’m working on is keeping my opinions to myself. So I wrote the affirmation, “I keep my opinions to myself.”
About an hour ago, while watching a curling match, I noticed a Canadian player’s sweater. “She looks like a hospital worker,” I thought. And I noticed that at the moment I had the thought, I actually pictured myself saying that.
In the following ten minutes, I found myself in the same situation with other aspects of the game: their looks, their play, etc.
It has never been so abundantly clear to me how negative my thoughts are. I see good stuff, too, and again I picture myself telling somebody that so-and-so is a great player.
I will never be perfect, I know, but at least I need to learn to keep my opinions to myself. Let’s face it, negative or not, most people don’t care what I think. So my quest, then, is to picture myself keeping my opinions private. It ain’t going to be easy.
1 comment:
i can really identify with this one. i always saw things i didn't like in other people but didn't admit or realize until recently how judgemental i am.
it really does seem to be true that some of the qualities we dislike in others are a reflection of our own ego that we don't recognize or want to.
i have found that as i try to accept myself, the bad stuff i mean, and be gentler with myself, the more accepting and understanding i feel towards others.
i've been trying to find alternate ways of looking at things, myself and people. when i think a negative thought, i try to think of how else i could look at this that would feel better.
and not just feel better. but be rational and realistic and positive all at once.
sometimes i think we think the negative is more real. but it's just one version of reality. you can be positive and not delusional.
great post~ thanks!
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