Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Recording my feelings - Day 2

Slept surprisingly well. No tears at all. Had vivid dreams of our prime minister. He and I moved in the same work environment. I saw him all the time, though I never did talk to him.

I couldn't sleep after 7 am. But I am so ready to attack my next project, the job search. I still need to finish a website I'm working on, but I will look for work, too. Interestingly enough, my only fear is that I will become complaisant and not look for work.

Here is my wish: I want to be motivated enough to tirelessly look for work, yet positive enough to be happy in spite of the situation. I want to be confident. I suppose I want to take the fear away without taking the urge away. But, can that be done?

10:28 am I just came up with an affirmation that I plan to repeat in my head.

"I will enjoy life in spite of it all." Yes, I will. There is enough money in the bank to feed us for a few years yet.

2 comments:

me as i am said...

hi unrepentant~ i read your feelings from yesterday. i can understand the rollercoaster feeling. and i think that's normal in a crisis. to alternate between fear and hope, dismay and optimism. it sounds like you are feeling better today. i'm glad to hear it. and that affirmation sounds great.

"one day at a time" may be another helpful affirmation right now. it always helps me when i'm in the midst of difficulty.

and depending on how i'm feeling, sometimes it's "one moment at a time" and i tell myself, just put one foot in front of the other.

hope all goes well with you today~

and i know you're not big on these, but here's a big hug if you want one :) (((hug)))

Unrepentant said...

Wow! Yeah, I haven't needed a hug in a long time. But this time I do. Thanks!