If it weren’t funny, it would be sad: I haven’t had my Mother Nature’s visit for about 60 days. And I’m having all the symptoms of the M word, like night sweats, joint pain, nausea, acne, and others that I'll leave unmentioned.
My hope is that it truly is the end of my reproductive days. It sucks to be tired all the time, but it is better than having Mother Nature surprise you with her dirty business every 20+ days.
I must say, though, that the concern is hindering the beginning of my job search. I don’t know why I am so preoccupied about it, when it is such a natural thing. OK, I’ll admit it. There is 1% possibility that I could be pregnant. Cheap me doesn’t want to spend the $3.95 for a pregnancy test. Maybe I should try the dollar store and get it over with.
Today my sister gave me a hpt, expired by two months. I will try it tomorrow, and it will be negative. But it will be good to know for sure. Yes, I’m sure, because I just don’t feel pregnant at all. There are other changes that I experienced when I’ve been pregnant that just aren’t happening.
I also have a doctor’s appointment for next week. I don’t know what I will tell her. “Hey, I thought I’d let you know that I’ve missed my last three, and I’m not pregnant.”
Or maybe I’ll say, “Care to check me for Osteoporosis? I am lactose intolerant and menopausal. Maybe there is something I should be doing to prevent the O thing.”
The worse part of being menopausal is that when you look for symptoms on the Internet, you land on forums where they do discuss your issues. And you find comments like, “Yeah, me too, I’ve been feeling like that for the last EIGHT years.”
Then you swear and reach for your gun. Good thing I don’t own one.
Well, that’s what’s burdening my mind these days. Tomorrow, I’ll see a case manager about getting help on my job search. I hope it goes well.
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7 comments:
oh gosh, i'm sorry you're feeling so uncomfortable. i hope there is something your doctor can give you to help you feel better~
Katie,
Thanks. I suppose that if I have put into my body drugs or hormones to make me feel better, I'd rather feel a bit uncomfortable.
But, I did two pregnancy tests: one was positive the other one negative.
So, I still don't know. I'll know next Tuesday. Rats!
i don't know much about menopause compared to pregnancy. but surely the doctor will be able to give you a test that will let you know for sure.
until then, just try to stay calm as best you can and keep focusing on self-care :)
((hug))
Yup, sounds like menopause or at least perimenopause.
I'm at the end of my reproductive years and that's the part of aging I like!
Pregnant?! I'm not sure how you'd feel about that and if it's something you'd welcome, so I'll refrain from saying more.
Oh don't I know what you mean about reaching for a gun. Of course, for me, menopause was a breeze compared to all those years of bad, bad PMS. Did I mention bad PMS? Yes, stay away from all weapons!
All the best with the job hunt.
Ah, Zoe. I knew you would understand.
Sorry to hear u've been feeling blech...and yeah, I get depressed too when I land up on those forums...which is why I LOLed when I read you wanted a gun :) I'm pretty sure no-one visits those forums once their illness/problem is resolved...so it feels like there's no hope left EVER!!!
Starry,
Yeah, some of those forums are very good at sharing people's ignorance.
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